proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
