Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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