and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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