Do vagina's smell?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My bed smells like the plague
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
