summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
