i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
