HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
