KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
