I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
