How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Green mimosas i think yes
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
