Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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