If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
