You're a womanizer and a bitch.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
