i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
