We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
