we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
