how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
When did angry sex become our thing?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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