i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
