Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
