I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
