so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i think i have two assholes
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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