i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
