i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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