One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
