Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
