no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
