the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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