Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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