The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
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It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
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My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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