ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
