I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
