we have officially lost it.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
