i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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