I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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