Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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