I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
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Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
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On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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