I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
