alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
