I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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