Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
