Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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