miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
