Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
my liver is dry heaving
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
