I'm gonna have a badass scar
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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