Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
