I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
