I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
