yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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