Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
