I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
