All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
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Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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