Acid is not a monday night drug
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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