And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
