now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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