I showed him my bush... on skype.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
