how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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